Coaching through Transitions
During my research on change, for a book I am currently writing, I came across this insight from William Bridges’ book on Managing Transitions. I felt it is worth sharing with you. In his book, Bridges suggests that the starting point of all change is not the plan for change, but the ending of what once was. Basically, his model on change suggests that if we do not allow our client to mourn the loss, s/he will not move through change... completely. Whether you are working with a client or a team, allowing the client time to acknowledge the loss, no matter how insignificant to you, or how misaligned it may be to the result that the client is seeking, is an important part of the change process.
Take for example a client who is working with you on their career change. Allowing the client time to process the loss is critical to the transition. We lose the comfort of familiarity in the process, control perhaps and confidence at times. Bridges offers the example of having a new baby. What is there to lose? You know if you have been there. Loss is part of the transition process. In this case, we may lose peaceful sleep for a while, package-free movement, space perhaps, meal time and other subtle changes that tend to slip away.
The point is transitions start with ending. Instead of rushing to solve the problem, allow your client time to process what s/he is letting go. This step can really help your client transition with less baggage. Be mindful of where you client is in the journey, give yourself permission to support the client during the transition, even when you are tempted to ask that challenging question in your head.
Contrary to what your coaching course may have told you, you do not always have to have a clear outcome. At times, it is important to meet the client where they are. Allow them to go to the place where they are willing to explore. Through reflection comes insight and through insight we develop our commitment to change. Just two weeks ago, I received an email from my client, an EVP of a Miami-Based healthcare system. In her email, she shared that she understands why she has been resistant to change. She wrote “I get it. I was resisting change because it was difficult to let go of the pain. I was not ready to let that go yet. I am now”. My client renewed her coaching contract for another six more months and requested group coaching for her senior leadership team.
Our value as coaches can be equally important as thinking partners and drivers of specific outcomes. It is not about you.
With love,
Dr. Loubna Noureddin, President of ICF South Florida